Cupid
by TCLessley
Summary: In which Sakura is struck by an arrow.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Not mine. Never will be.

Rated M because of swears. Eventually, the story may devolve into porn. One can only hope.

***

She woke up in the hospital, which was never good, but was, on the whole, much better than the alternative.

She knew she was in the hospital because of its unmistakable smell, that disinfectant and disease smell that she could never quite get out of her hair whenever she was forced to do rounds. Unfortunately for her, Sakura had to rely on her sense of smell, because at the moment, she couldn't see a damn thing. She could, however, feel the bandages wrapped snugly around her head as well as the dull pain in her right eye – or where her right eye should have been.

Lying in her cool hospital bed, staring up at a ceiling she couldn't see, Sakura began to remember. She remembered the mission, and the ambush. She remembered the archer – those bastards always seemed to aim for the medic – and she remembered the arrow. She also remembered reaching up to pluck the arrow out of thin air and being a hair too late.

There had been little choice. The arrow had pierced her eye but had gone no further. It couldn't be left there, even broken off near the tip. It would have been a very easy thing for an enemy to palm or kick the shaft further into her head. So she did the only thing she could do, she gave the arrow a swift jerk. It took the eye with it.

Her head screamed in agony even as she sent chakra to the wound, dulling pain receptors and healing the worst of the damage done. Blood gushed from the socket before she could fully staunch the flow, streaming down her face and leaving a bitter tang on her lips. She got a grim sort of satisfaction as she buried the bloody arrow tip into the neck of an enemy nin intent on finishing the lamed medic off.

The unholy grin that twisted her mouth at the memory alerted whoever was keeping watch over her that she had awakened.

"Haruno-san?" It was Kazuo, a chuunin she had been on a few missions with, including the last one. It was supposed to have been easy. At least Kazuo had made it back safely.

"K-Kazuo-kun," she managed to croak. Her throat was very dry, and she began to wonder just how _long_ she had been in bed.

"Haruno-san! You're awake! I'll go get a nurse." The boy sounded like he was on the verge of tears he was so excited. She supposed she had probably been in the bed for a while. She heard the door open and close as he exited, and open and close again as he returned, apparently with nurse in tow. She felt gentle hands on her, checking her vitals, smoothing down her bed linens, adjusting her bandages. Not a nurse, then.

"Hokage-sama?" She felt the hands stiffen for a moment, maybe from the roughness of her voice, or the fact she had spoken at all. A straw was placed between her lips, and she was gruffly ordered to not drink too quickly as Tsunade didn't need a lapful of vomit on top of all of her other problems.

Sakura grinned at where she imagined her erstwhile teacher to be, "I think I've cleaned up enough of your vomit for you to return the favor at least once, Shishou." Her remark was greeted with a shocked gasp, presumably from a scandalized Kazuo, and an affectionate hand-squeeze from the Hokage.

"You're being too nice," Sakura ventured suspiciously. "How bad was I?"

"Pretty bad, Sakura." Tsunade stroked the top of her young protégé's head. "Pretty bad."

"I remember losing the eye," she said flatly. "I assume I passed out from shock, hopefully _after_ the battle was won."

"You were wonderful, Sakura-san," Kazuo nearly gushed. He would toughen up eventually, she knew, if only he lasted long enough. "Jun-san tried to cover you, but there were too many of them. After that first hit, we thought you might be dead, but then there you were, punching and kicking your way to Saburo-san's side. You watched his back as he used his fire-jutsu to take out the bastards in the trees, and then we all finished off what was left. Jun-san got a couple nasty wounds to the gut from a nin he let get under his guard, and I had a couple broken ribs thanks to a kick I didn't manage to dodge. Saburo-san was just tired as fuck. I think you were the worst off, but you managed to heal me and Jun-san before you.. well.. Man, Sakura-san. We really thought you were dead."

She imagined she could hear Kazuo panting for breath after his rambling speech. At least the rest of her team had survived. "Didn't anyone ever teach you guys to take a pulse?" she joked good-naturedly.

"Well, yeah, there was that, Sakura-san, but you looked like hell. All pale and covered in blood and… You weren't really breathing all that well. So they sent me back with you." The boy sounded much more subdued, perhaps from the memory of Sakura sprawled unconscious and bleeding in the dirt.

"Wait, you mean those two idiots tried to complete a four-man mission by themselves? What the fuck were they thinking?" Sakura would have jumped from the bed in her ire just to shake the living daylights out of her teammate if it weren't for Tsunade's deceptively strong hands keeping her pinned down.

"Calm down, Sakura. Those two idiots have been back for three days now. They've been sitting in shifts, along with a few other nuisances, waiting for you to wake up. You just had the bad timing to come around at four in the morning, or you'd have the joy of dealing with a whole host of well-wishers."

Tsunade's brisk attitude couldn't hide the relieved tone in her voice. It made Sakura curious to know how long they had all been waiting. "Well, if they're already back, how long have I been in this bed?" she asked grumpily.

"Five days," was Tsunade's succinct reply.

"What?! The mission itself was supposed to take three days. How the hell did they get back here so fast? Don't tell me they did a sloppy job just because I wasn't there to kick their asses," Sakura fumed.

Kazuo, sounding a little nervous after Sakura's previous outbursts, ventured to elaborate, "Um. I guess the mission itself was really easy. We apparently just got lucky and stumbled on a bunch of Rock-nin out for a good time. They didn't have anything to do with the mission."

"Oh, great. I lose an eye just because a bunch of Rock-nin want to commit mass suicide. Fucking _fantastic_. Shishou, can we just declare war on Iwa again and wipe the morons off the face of the map? Why didn't you guys do that the last time? Seriously, it's a pity that breathing is semi-automated, otherwise I'm sure they would all forget and suffocate," Sakura huffed in high dudgeon.

"Are you done?" Tsunade asked placidly, well acquainted with her former student's little fits of temper.

"Yes," was Sakura's sullen reply.

"Good. Now, I would like to take these bandages off. I can't release you until mid-morning. You're still full of pain-killers, and while you might think yourself fully lucid, believe me, you aren't. I'm going to give you an antibiotic to help ward off infection. I've healed what there is to heal, but it will probably still be sore for the next few days. If it's still sore after a week, you know you need to get it re-checked. Otherwise, it should be fine. You know how to keep it clean, so I won't bore you. Try to keep it dry."

All the while, Tsunade had been unwrapping the gauze and tape surrounding Sakura's head. Finally, the last bit of bandages was removed, and Sakura blinked her remaining eye owlishly as it was exposed to the pale florescence of her hospital room.

"You'll probably suffer some vertigo. You'll have completely lost your depth perception. Try not to fall down the stairs."

"Thanks, Shishou," Sakura grumbled.

Tsunade continued on as if she hadn't heard her, "Also, I'm taking you off of active duty for a month. It will give you time to get used to your new limitations. You'll have to undergo a full medical review as well as a physical test of your abilities before you're properly re-instated. I know. I'm sorry, Sakura, but I can't have you out there less than your best. Shizune is going to pick up your slack on missions; therefore, you're going to pick up hers here at the hospital."

"Oh, come on, Shishou, you know I hate working here!" Sakura protested.

"Do you want to get paid?" Tsunade asked testily.

"Yes."

"Then you'll be working at the hospital."

"Fine."

Sakura tried to roll over onto her side, her IV catching on the bed-rail and severely limiting her motion. Tsunade untangled the recalcitrant tubing, allowing Sakura to get more comfortable. She reached down and brushed the younger medic's hair from her face, tucking it behind her ear.

Sakura closed her eye. It was weird not being able to close the other. The muscles in her face twitched annoyingly and caused her empty eye-socket to ache fiercely.

"Shishou, my eye hurts. Can I have more drugs?"

"If I give you more, I won't be able to release you until the afternoon."

"I don't care."

"Alright, Sakura-chan."

She felt Tsunade press the tip of a syringe into her IV port, and then she soon felt nothing at all as the pain-killers raced through her system.

The last thing she heard was Tsunade ushering Kazuo from the room before she fell into a deep, dreamless, drug-induced slumber.

***

Several days later, Sakura found herself recklessly hurling deadly pieces of sharpened metal at the trees and targets of training ground three. She had started out attempting to aim but had gradually lost her patience and just started flinging things angrily in various directions. Sometimes a tree would explode, but most of the time her weapons would become lodged six inches deep in the dirt.

What made it worse was that some asshole was watching her. Though, she should have been used to it by now. It seemed that from the moment she had been released from the hospital, someone or another had been hovering over her, either directly or from the shadows. They all seemed to forget that she could fucking _sense_ them. The idiots.

Well, they weren't _all_ idiots. Most of them were being pretty great, but if Ino mentioned investing in a cache of stylish eye-patches, complete with rhinestones and satin lining, one more time, she was going to punt her into next week. She knew it was just Ino's way of dealing with her friend's loss, but Sakura really wished everyone would just let her alone for a while. Maybe she shouldn't have kept asking for more drugs at the hospital. It had mostly been a joke, but it was possible it had set her mentor and friends into a tizzy, thinking that Sakura was going to go self-destruct as soon as they let her out of their sight.

And so, apparently everyone Sakura had ever shared a fond feeling with felt it their duty to make sure that she didn't go hang herself over the trauma of losing her eye. She had been invited to the bar every night for a week, by at least twenty different people each day. It had been kinda nice, not having to buy her own drinks, but she would have rather it been because she was looking smoking hot, instead of everyone feeling sorry for her.

As it stood, she was ready to start stabbing people in the face if they suggested one more inane way to keep herself busy during her enforced absence from shinobi-land. Well, she would start if she could freaking aim well enough to actually hit them. She had thought she had finally escaped her well-meaning pep squad long enough to get in some much needed training. It was a hell of a lot harder to hit things without the use of both eyes than she had expected, as evidenced by the many, many weapons littering the field.

With a final burst of strength, she sent her last kunai in what she hoped was a straight shot at the center of a practice target. It missed by a wide margin, imbedding itself deeply into an innocent tree stump.

Growling in frustration, she went to retrieve her spent weaponry. As she collected kunai and shuriken and senbon, she tossed a glance over her shoulder toward the big tree in the center of the clearing. "Well?" she queried, as she snagged the last throwing star from a patch of tangled weeds.

Leaning nonchalantly against the ancient oak was her ex-teacher and sometimes team leader, Hatake Kakashi. He was dressed in his usual rumpled jonin getup, hitai-ate slumped jauntily over his left eye and hair in a perpetual state of muss. The only thing missing was his beloved dirty book. She waited, teeth grinding and eye glaring, for him to make his point and go.

"So, what the hell is wrong with you, Haruno?" he offered lazily from his position against the tree.

Her only response was a raised middle finger sent in his general direction as she continued to clean and re-pack her weapons.

"Your insubordination has been duly noted."

"Get bent."

"Well…"

"I don't want to know. Hey, how about you just shut up and leave me alone?"

"No can do. Orders from higher up." He gestured blindly back toward the Hokage Tower.

"She sent _you_ to talk to me?" Her eye widened in disbelief. "But I don't even _like_ you," she accused, folding her arms across her chest for emphasis.

"You wound me, Sakura-chan. Deeply," he deadpanned. "Now why don't you tell me what's wrong so I can tell Tsunade, she can fix it, and I can go back to reading my porn."

Sakura's response was to tap her empty eye-socket, "Gee, I have no idea what could have put me in a bad mood, Kaka-sensei. It's a big freaking mystery." She was almost done packing up her gear.

Kakashi gave an overly-dramatic cringe, "That's disgusting."

An inordinate amount of rage filled Sakura's remaining eye, "You know what, fuck you. I'm out of here."

She hefted her pack and made to leave when Kakashi called out, "You aren't really my type, Sakura-chan. Oh, and hey, catch."

Instinctively, she reached to grab the apple he tossed at her, only missing it by a fraction of a centimeter. She stared down at the fruit morosely. Her foot twitched to kick it, but she refrained. She probably would have missed it, anyway.

"Having trouble gauging distances, are we?" the asshole nearly sing-songed.

"No shit. Hatake Kakashi has solved yet _another_ mystery. Will wonders never cease?"

He shrugged good-naturedly, "Nothing a little re-training won't cure."

"Oh, really? How long did it take you?" she shot back.

He paused, and for a moment she thought he wasn't going to answer at all, when he offered simply, "A good bit. A good bit, but.. I don't recall learning new things ever bothering you before. So, while I know it's frustrating to have to re-learn how to kick someone's ass, that can't be what's gotten your knickers in a twist."

He looked like he really wanted his book right about then. His fingers were twitching, and his eye kept slipping down to the space the pages usually occupied. Heart-to-hearts were never Kakashi's thing, she knew.

Well, she wasn't about to make it easy for him. "Nothing's wrong, idiot. Other than the obvious." She again tapped the place her eye had been. It didn't hurt anymore. She had poked and prodded at it for days after leaving the hospital until she was sure she would wake up with a nasty infection, just to remind herself that it was gone.

Kakashi flinched, and she wanted to hit him. "Do you have to do that, Sakura? It's gross."

"I'm sorry that drawing attention to my wreck of a face offends your delicate sensibilities, _Sensei_," she drawled, her anger rising once more.

"It has more to do with you poking yourself in your eye-socket than your horribly ravaged face, Sakura-chan."

She nearly did hit him then.

"You stupid jackass, there isn't anything wrong with my face!"

His brow furrowed, "Is that what this is all about? Sakura, I was kidding.. you don't really think…"

"I know I'm not pretty anymore, alright!?" she spat. "None of the guys look at me like they used to. I don't know why. It wasn't like they were looking at my _face_ that much, anyway, the bastards. Even _you_ don't stare at my butt anymore. Don't deny it! I used to feel you watching me all the time, but you don't anymore and I don't know _why_ because just because my face is _ruined_ doesn't mean I don't still have a cute butt!"

Kakashi regarded her very seriously for a brief moment. "Sakura, I would be happy to stare at your butt any time, if it will make you feel better," he stated with utter solemnity.

She blinked at him a couple times before her brain finally registered what had just been said. "Oh. My. God."

Suddenly, she sank to the ground in a dejected crouch, hands clutching her head protectively. "Did I really just give you permission to check out my ass?" she all but wailed.

"Yep," was the bastard's cheerful reply.

"Oh god." She clutched her head tighter and began to rock back and forth on her heels, all the while muttering and moaning pitifully to herself about the injustices visited upon her person.

"Sakura…"

"Sakura…"

It took some time before his gentle recitation of her name pierced the self-pitying fog she had wrapped herself in. When she finally looked up, she gasped in shock and promptly fell flat on her cute little rear.

A wide grin broke across her teacher's face, his _un-masked­ _face.

"I..I.. you.." she sputtered unintelligently up at him. At last she found a word that best summed up all she was feeling. "_Why?_"

"Is my face a ruined wreck, Sakura-chan?"

"No," she breathed as she continued to gaze up at him in wonder. "No, you're beautiful."

He shook his head, and with a self-effacing smirk returned his mask to its proper place. "Get up, Haruno," he offered her a hand. "And stop drooling. You're getting the front of your shirt all wet, and it's becoming a little distracting." He gave her an unrepentant leer that was only slightly less effective because of the mask.

She pulled herself up, "Asshole," she muttered, and stuck her tongue out at him. "You, Hatake-san, are _the_ biggest jerk _ever_."

He offered her a happy eye-crease and, stuffing his hands in his pockets, began to walk away, "You're welcome, Sakura-chan."

"Umm.." she ventured softly before he got very far. "Um, Sensei?"

He turned, eyebrow raised expectantly.

"Would you.. would you please help me re-learn how to fight with only one eye?" she forced out in a rush as she offered him a low bow, her hair falling forward to obscure her reddened cheeks and uncertain expression. Her downcast eye made her miss any physical response to her request, and so she waited for what seemed an eternity before he spoke.

"I would be honored." He paused. "Meet me in room twenty-six of the Jonin HQ tomorrow at seven."

"Yes, Sensei," she replied, but she needn't have bothered, he had already disappeared in a whirl of leaves.

***


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Still not mine.

Still no porn. Slightly less swearing. And hey, if you see something grammatically incorrect, such as misplaced commas, or I used the wrong word entirely, please feel free to point this out to me. Thanks.

***

Sakura arrived at the Jonin HQ at six-thirty in the evening the next day. She hoped that Kakashi had known she had a shift at the hospital that morning, totally precluding a seven a.m. appointment. If he _had _meant their little rendezvous to take place while the sun was still shining, it was his own fault for not sticking around long enough for her to confirm the time. Regardless, she didn't feel that bad, even if he had meant seven a.m., because, knowing Kakashi, he would have only been waiting for about six hours, max, and, honestly, the man deserved to have to wait around for other people once in a while.

The Jonin HQ was a building that Sakura had never taken the time to fully explore, preferring to do her training out in the open and her socializing out at the bar, so she had no idea what was housed in room twenty-six. Without knowing what to expect, she had worn her standard training outfit, brought her standard training gear, and worn her long hair in a single utilitarian braid down the center of her back. She had still not taken Ino's advice about the eye-patch. She was, however, debating on whether she ought to start wearing her hitai-ate over her missing eye in mock of her former teacher, but at present, as he had actually agreed to _help_ her, she thought it best not to antagonize him. Much.

She'd decided to arrive early – just _incase_ Kakashi actually showed up on time for once – to scope out the room and to perhaps get a feel for what he had planned for the evening.

The door to room twenty-six was plain and windowless. There was also a sign-up sheet on it, and she was relieved to note that Kakashi had booked the timeslot between seven and nine pm. Or at least she assumed it was Kakashi who'd booked it. She would have hated to think there was another jonin in the Village with such horrible penmanship.

Turning the doorknob, she walked into a private training room, complete with practice dummies, wooden weapons, and padded mats adorning the floor and walls – she was almost surprised there weren't any on the ceiling. The room was not overly large, probably designed for non-chakra-based taijutsu training. There were no windows at all, which allowed Sakura to breathe a little easier. The idea that random jonin could peek in on her re-learning how to fight with her genin sensei didn't sit very well with her.

The room having passed her preliminary inspection, Sakura began to stretch while she waited for Kakashi to arrive. As she bent and stretched, twisted and reached, she began to consider just _why_ Hatake Kakashi had agreed to help her. She hadn't been exaggerating the day before when she'd said she didn't like him. Aside from his numerous bad habits – being chronically late, reading porn in public, completely disregarding the invention of the hair brush – she thought he was a smug, antisocial bastard that could use taking down a peg or five.

Sakura had, had the dubious pleasure over the years, ever since Team Kakashi had been disbanded, of being assigned to several missions with her ex-sensei. Kakashi was invariably the team leader, unless someone else's expertise was required to guide the team to a successful completion of the mission's objectives.

Once, she had even been the leader, which had been hee-_freakin_'-larious. He hadn't listened to a damn thing she'd said, going his own way, and occasionally taking the rest of the team with him. That had been a _bad_ mission. She had, had to fracture several of her teammates' skulls before they had gotten it through their stupid heads that _she, _not the Copy-nin, was their boss this go-round. She would have liked to have gotten her hands on Kakashi, but both he and she and the rest of the team knew she wouldn't be able to lay a finger on him, which only served to further undermine her authority. By some act of God, the mission had been a success. That didn't stop her from filing a formal complaint against the jackass for his blatant insubordination.

That had been about the time they'd stopped being assigned missions together.

She hadn't had much interaction with him since then, other than passing him in the street or bumping into him at the bar. Occasionally, she was forced to eat ramen with him, whenever Naruto was in the Village. Honestly, unless it was for the good of the Village, she didn't think she'd take the time to piss on him if he was on fire, and she had assumed the feeling was mutual. Until the bastard had pulled down his mask in broad daylight, presumably, just to make her feel better.

Not thinking Kakashi was a jackass gave her almost as weird of a feeling as not having an eye. She didn't think she could deal with both at the same time, so she decided to keep thinking he was a jackass, at least for the time being.

She had just finished limbering up when the doorknob turned and in walked a curiously punctual Hatake Kakashi, dressed in what looked like the same clothes he'd worn yesterday.

His eye roamed lazily from her head to her toes and back, lingering what she thought was rather exaggeratedly at her chest. If he was trying to make her feel better, this was definitely _not _the way to go about it.

"This'll do for today, but next time, try to wear something a little looser."

She made a noise to acknowledge he had spoken as she squared up, readying herself for whatever he would throw at her.

"Yes, Sensei."

She blinked at him, "What?"

"Yes, Sensei," he repeated genially. "Say it."

"What? No way!" she exclaimed angrily.

"Then we're done here," he told her regretfully.

"You can't seriously.. Where the hell are you going?" He had turned to go, his hand on the doorknob.

He looked over his shoulder at her, "If you can't show proper respect, how can I be expected to teach you?" He sounded so serious, so reasonable, so un-Kakashi-like. He sounded so very much like the words she had used in her write-up of him after their final mission together.

Sakura thought she would chip several teeth she was grinding them together with such force, but she _did_ need his help. Finally, she managed to pry her jaw apart and growl, "Yes, Sensei."

"Aw, Sakura-chan, you can do better than that," he beamed at her. At least he had turned back into the room.

"I'm going to kill you, slowly and painfully, I hope you know that," she ground out, her remaining eye glaring daggers at him.

"So noted. But I'm still waiting to hear those two magical words," he offered helpfully.

"Autoerotic asphyxiation? You know I can make it look like an accident. And everyone would believe it of you."

"But then you would have to pose me. I suppose I could die happy, knowing that you'd have to lay out my naked body in a torturous pose of tragically fatal overindulgence."

"I hate you."

"Say it."

"Yes, Sensei." As the words were torn from her throat, she felt an almost physical pain in her chest.

"Now, was that so difficult?"

"Yes."

He frowned.

"Sensei."

He smiled, "Much better. Now, let's get started."

He put her through her paces then, coming at her with a barrage of kicks and punches that she did her best to dodge. At no point in time was she on the offensive, her only option to avoid dozens of bruises, breaks, and sprains was to defend herself with everything she had. He still managed to hit her at least half of the time. It was no good. She just couldn't judge how far away he was, and so couldn't time her reactions accordingly. She wanted to scream at him that this wasn't helping, especially when he got behind her and grabbed her braid, twisting her around by her hair until she was unable to move else risk ripping away a large portion of her scalp.

"Next time, you will secure this a little better," he spoke into her ear, giving her braid a sharp tug for emphasis.

"I hate you," she panted wearily, "Sensei."

"I know. But the good news is, is that it's nine o'clock, so our time here is officially over."

"How do you even _know_ that? You _never_ know what time it is."

He gestured at a clock hanging on the far wall she had somehow failed to notice.

"Did I already mention I hate you?"

"Yep." He gave her a very happy, very fake eye-crease.

"Also, I'm slightly confused as to how this whole, beating me into a bloody pulp fiasco is supposed to be _helping_ me," she accused mistrustfully.

"I needed to know where you were at, Sakura-chan. It will be better next time. I might even let you land a hit." His smile actually seemed genuine this time.

"You're assuming there will be a next time," she muttered balefully.

"Tomorrow, same time, same place."

She paused, "Yes… Sensei."

***

While Sakura was covering Shizune's shifts at the hospital, the honor of playing door guard for the Hokage was granted to Izumo, the poor bastard.

Sakura waved cheerfully at him as she made a beeline straight for Tsunade's office, hoping to bypass any formal claptrap he might try to ensnare her with. She had never been all that lucky.

"Sakura, you can't go in there. She's supposed to be working on a speech for Remembrance Day."

"It's okay, Izumo-kun. I have an appointment." She smiled widely and proffered a rather expensive looking bottle of sake toward him for his inspection.

"God, Sakura. No, please?" Izumo nearly begged when he saw the bottle of high-proof alcohol, "Please? I can't deal with her when she's been drinking. I can barely deal with her when she hasn't been drinking. Please, don't do it."

"Sorry, Izumo-kun, but I need information, and this is the only reliable way of greasing the wheels around here." She had even managed to sound slightly apologetic.

"But.. but.. she _likes_ you!" he wailed. "Why can't you just _ask_ her instead of bribing her?"

"Um.. because we're ninja?" she replied, as if that explained everything. From the confusion written across Izumo's face, it apparently didn't. "Doling out bribes for information is pretty much standard operating procedure around here?"

Izumo brightened, "So, what are you going to do for me in exchange for me letting you in there?"

"Well.." Sakura began. "I can tell you what I'm _not_ going to do. I'm _not_ going to tell Inuzuka Kiba that I caught you groping his big sister in the third floor linen closet."

"But," Izumo protested, "I never did that!"

"True," Sakura returned with a nod, "But who do you think he's going to believe, me or you?"

"But.. but.. Hana-chan! She'll deny the whole thing!"

"Yes, she'll deny it," Sakura smiled. "Rather vehemently, too, I would imagine."

Izumo groaned loudly, "Sakura, you suck."

"That, Izumo-kun, is something you are _never_ going to find out," she replied with a wink.

"Get on in there," Izumo growled as he buzzed Sakura in. "Hokage-sama, it's your God-damned clone to see you."

"Thanks a million, Izumo," she offered with a wave as she closed the door behind her.

The Hokage's office was actually very tidy that morning. It seemed that without Shizune around to prod Tsunade into doing her work, papers and scrolls and mission reports stayed nice and neat in their respective 'to-do' bins. Unfortunately, that meant all the 'have-done' bins were conspicuously empty. The sooner Sakura could get back to full mission-ready status, the better because it was really Shizune, and not the sake, that made this office run like a well-oiled machine. Or at least she was the one that kicked hard enough to get the engine to occasionally turn over.

Sakura was doing her best to get back on the duty roster sometime that decade, and with Kakashi's help, she thought it just might be possible. They had been at it for five days so far, five horrible, excruciating days of getting beaten bloody, black and blue all in the name of progress. Sakura would go home, heal herself, and wake up the next morning stiff as a board, ready to take on her shift at the hospital. If the entire nursing staff didn't already think she was a bitch, they did now.

At least the lessons seemed to be truly _helping. _Kakashi was actually taking the time to show her things, little physical and chakra-based tricks to anticipate an opponent's moves, where he would strike, how fast, and how hard. Slowly, very slowly, she was beginning to catch on. He had yet to keep his promise about letting her land a solid hit, but she could be patient. Eventually he would slip up, and she would be there, aiming right for his solar plexus.

Unfortunately, her official leave-of-absence was coming to an end and the fear of looking like a fool in front of Tsunade and her examiners made her sick to her stomach. This insidious fear, as well as the desire to do a little fact checking, had prompted her to pay a visit to her beloved shishou.

Smiling brightly and dandling the sake bottle in front of her, she remarked cheerily as she moved further into the room, "Hokage-sama, I come bearing gifts."

Tsunade raised her head from her current project. "Wonderful. Now, what do you want?"

"Shishou, so distrustful," Sakura said in mock reproach, "At least let me pour before we get down to the vulgarities of business."

Tsunade gestured toward the cabinet where the sake bowls were kept. She discreetly eyed the bottle's labeling as Sakura poured each of them a generous portion.

"Oh, nice," she remarked appreciatively. "You must really want something badly, Sakura-chan."

"Other than for everyone to stop calling me Sakura-chan?"

Tsunade didn't see fit to acknowledge that she'd spoken, choosing instead to take a bracing sip of her drink.

"Ah, still warm. You really know how to treat a girl, Sakura-chan."

Sakura grimaced, preparing to rehash an old debate about the accursed diminutive, when she noticed just what Tsunade's current 'project' happened to be.

"So you _did_ take his book," she exclaimed, not even trying to mask her delight.

"It was the only way to get him to go talk to you," Tsunade admitted with a little shrug. She brought the lacquered saucer of liquor to her lips once more. "I figured that irritating ass would succeed where your friends had failed."

"And where would that be?" she asked sweetly.

"Getting you to tell them what was wrong. Was I right?"

Sakura scowled down into her own wine. "Yes."

"Ha. I knew it. But, I suppose now I have to give him back his book. And I was just getting to the good part." It almost looked as if Tsunade was on the verge of pouting.

Sakura felt little sympathy. She had, after all, sent Kakashi on a mission to interrogate her.

"Stealing his book was a little underhanded, don't you think, Shishou?"

"A little?"

"Alright. A lot," Sakura conceded with a smirk.

Both women began to laugh heartily at the Copy-nin's expense.

Gradually, Sakura sobered, and Tsunade followed suit. She looked at Sakura expectantly, "I know you didn't just come here to have a good laugh over Hatake's lack of reading material. What did you want to talk about, Sakura?"

"You're right. What I really wanted to say is.." Sakura shook her head slightly. "Shishou, the truth is, is that I'm just not ready yet. Even if I took your test, and somehow miraculously managed to pass it, I'm still not.. What I mean is.."

"Spit it out, Sakura," Tsunade half encouraged, half commanded.

"I can't fucking _hit_ anything," she seethed, the frustration from the previous days' training clearly evident in her voice.

"Watch your language while you're in this office. I do have _some_ standards to maintain."

"Oops," was Sakura's slightly sarcastic response.

"How much more time do you think you're going to need?" Tsunade asked her seriously.

"I'm not sure. I'm getting better, but so far it's been kinda slow going. I asked Kakashi to help me, since he's been fighting with one good eye for, how long has it been? Like a century?"

"Hey, no age-related jokes allowed in here, either."

"Oops. Again."

"Wait, you just _asked_ him to help you? And he agreed? You didn't have to blackmail him or perform some sort of illicit favor or offer your first born as repayment?" Tsunade's voice was incredulous.

"No, none of that. Why?"

"You really have to ask that?"

"Oh crap. You don't think he's feeling sorry for me, do you? I'll fucking kill him!"

"Sakura.."

"Right. Sorry. I'm still going to kill him, though."

"How? You couldn't hit him in a fair fight, even when you had both your eyes."

She didn't even have to think about her answer. "I'll brush the outside edges of the pages of his books with a colorless, odorless, virtually undetectable, quick-acting poison. Eventually, he's bound to get a paper cut. Even the great Hatake Kakashi has to still get those. And then he's doomed."

"You've put a lot of thought into this, haven't you?"

"Erm.. no?"

Tsunade rubbed her temples in slow, soothing circles, "Please, try not to kill my best ninja unless he's plotting to overthrow my corrupt regime. Even then, I still would rather you wouldn't."

"I can't make any promises…" Sakura said doubtfully.

"Sakura.." There was a good bit of warning in Tsunade's voice.

"Alright. Fine. I _won't_ kill him, if it will make you happy." She slumped in her chair, in the throes of a terrible sulk.

"Oh, cheer up, you little miscreant. I never said you couldn't _maim_ him."

Sakura perked up immediately, "Really? You promise?"

"No, I don't promise, you miserable faker," she clarified with no little exasperation in her voice. "Now, pour us some more of that lovely ambrosia you had the excellent forethought to bring with you."

"Shishou, I think you've been reading Hatake's book too long. You're starting to talk like an idiot."

Sakura managed to duck the pen pot the Hokage chucked at her head.

Both women giggled as they sipped at their drinks and engaged in more vacuous banter. It was obvious to Sakura that her shishou was pleased that her apprentice was acting like her old self again, and although she was unsure that she _felt_ more like her old self, it was good to sit and laugh with her surrogate mother over sake cups like everything was normal and right with the world.

Sakura left after her third cup. She still had an appointment to keep later in the day, and she didn't need to be drunk on top of partially blind when dealing with the Copy-nin. All in all, though, her mission had gone pretty well. She had postponed her utter humiliation indefinitely and ascertained that Tsunade had only asked Kakashi to wheedle information out of her, not to teach her.

But that still begged the question, why was Hatake Kakashi, the virtual bane of her existence, being so nice to her all of a sudden? She supposed she would find out eventually, hopefully after she was reinstated and before this whole situation blew up in her face.

***


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Still not mine.

This chapter is pretty light on the bad stuff. Also, 425 is the suck. ;__;

***

It was her day off and Kakashi had suggested that they meet at the training ground she had previously tried to demolish. She was a little unsure, still not wanting anyone to witness her sessions with the Copy-nin, until he had quipped that he felt it was time for her to actually start hitting her targets. Wishing it was possible to hit _him_ – she still hadn't been able to land a proper blow during all of their spars – she agreed. After all, she had spent the few days he had been away on a mission practicing her aim at home by playing several one-sided games of darts. She had also used the time to relax and let her body recover from the intense lessons – alright, beatings – she had been receiving at his hands.

The brief respite from her sadistic sensei's demanding practice sessions had left her feeling pretty good, and with all the darts she had thrown, she was starting to see some improvement in her aim. The fact that her dartboard sported an image of her sensei _might_ have played a factor but wasn't something she felt Kakashi needed to know. She was afraid of what he might read in to her having a nearly life-sized photo of his face tacked on her wall, despite the fact that it was pin-cushioned with clusters of needle-sharp projectiles.

Her current relationship with the Copy-nin was strange enough, anyway. They still ignored each other when they made casual social contact, be it at the bar or in the marketplace. Although, Sakura had once again noticed him checking out her behind whenever he thought no one was looking. Unfortunately, he seemed about the only guy who had reverted to type. All the rest were still treating her like a kid sister who had fallen and scraped her knees or were acting as if she was a fragile porcelain teacup that might shatter at any second if handled incorrectly. Oddly, it didn't bother her as much anymore. More than likely it was because she hadn't had a spare moment to dwell on her lack of a social life what with all the shifts at the hospital and lessons with Kakashi.

While her interactions with her once and current sensei had returned to normal outside of the training room, their behavior inside room twenty-six had resolved into a sharply delineated routine. From the moment they began a lesson, Sakura would treat him as a proper sensei, showing the utmost respect and obedience. But during the brief stretches of time before and after each session, she would take her full ire out on the irritatingly unflappable man, cursing at him and intimating various things about his person that he either fully endorsed or cleverly denied in a round-about fashion. His easy replies to her heated comments made her that much more determined to kick his ass someday very, very soon.

Sometimes she wondered if he did it on purpose as some asinine form of motivation only he could conceive of. Other times she was thoroughly convinced he only wore sandals because he was too stupid to tie his shoes.

Though her deferential treatment of her sensei extended only so far, she had heeded his advice on proper training attire and had taken to wearing loose-fitting shirts and trousers fastened securely about the elbows, wrists, knees, and ankles. Her single plait had also been divided into two tightly woven braids that sloped gently from each temple, coming together at her nape, where they were knotted and coiled in on themselves leaving nothing for the aggravating Copy-nin to latch on to. She had to admit that the looser clothing allowed for more range of movement as well as kept her cooler during Kakashi's intense practice sessions, and the fact that he could no longer pull her hair had probably prolonged his life by several decades.

When Sakura arrived at training ground three, she wasn't surprised to find Kakashi waiting there for her. His unusual punctuality had ceased to amaze her. She just figured he showed up on time for things he really enjoyed, like beating the crap out of and thoroughly embarrassing ex-students.

He gave her a lazy wave as she approached. She was just about ready to say something decidedly unkind when he broke their routine by jumping right into the day's lesson. "Today you'll be learning how to aim," he said cheerfully.

Fighting a scowl, Sakura replied with a simple, "Yes, Sensei."

The damned-able man was nearly beaming judging by the severe squintiness of his eye-crease, and it took all Sakura had in her to not try and wipe the smug smirk she knew was lurking just behind his mask right off his face. It was a good thing that inner- and outer-Sakura had thoroughly merged some time ago or she wouldn't have been able to hear her sensei's explanation of what he had planned for their day over the somewhat bipolar screaming in her head. As it was, the moment the Copy-nin sidled up behind her, his arms to either side of her, presumably to guide her throws, the blood pounding in her ears made his instructions very difficult to follow.

It made her extremely nervous to have him standing so close behind her. Her innate mistrust where he was concerned had her on edge and ready to flee or fight at the least provocation.

He shifted, and her chakra flared, reacting to his subtle movement as if he had drawn a kunai and placed it against her throat.

"Relax," her sensei admonished, "You'll need that for later."

He wasn't lying. As he proceeded to teach her how to guide and correct her missiles' flight with gentle nudges of chakra, she felt herself grow increasingly weary. It was impossibly tiring to constantly have her chakra threaded out into the ether, seeking out targets and subtly directing her weapons to their centers. In what felt like no time at all, she was dripping with sweat, her reserves of energy all but spent.

At last, Kakashi called a halt to their training. Collapsing exhausted under the shade of an enormous oak, Sakura spared a glance for her teacher and asked breathlessly, "How do you do it?"

"Manage to look so roguishly handsome and deadly at the same time?" he shrugged, taking a seat next to her. "Good breeding and clean living, I'd expect."

"No, you idiot," Sakura returned with a roll of her lone eye, "How do you not fall down dead every time you fight someone? This stuff you're showing me, you have to be doing it yourself. All the time. So, this coupled with your sharingan, how are you not dead?"

He shrugged again, resting his back against the trunk of the tree, "It gets easier the more you do it. And, eventually, you don't really have to do it at all. With enough practice, you'll just automatically know how far and how fast something needs to be thrown, like when you first learnt how to throw kunai. These techniques, they're really just meant to get you through for the time being."

Sakura nodded, not really caring if he saw or not. She draped her arm across her forehead, blocking out the remainder of the leaf-filtered sunlight.

"You know, you suck a lot less as a teacher now, Sensei." She had learned more from him in the last three weeks than she had learned in her entire time as his genin trainee.

"Maybe I just have a better student," he replied casually.

"I _was_ your student, and you never taught me anything other than how to climb up a tree, you jackass," she grumbled irritably, rolling over to face him.

"Hmm? I was supposed to be teaching you that stuff? I thought you had kunoichi classes for that." He blinked at her innocently.

She stared hatefully at him for a moment before flopping back on the grass. "You are a disgusting old pervert."

"Now, Sakura, that's unfair," he argued. "I am not old."

She gave an unladylike snort, "If you're not old, then I'm not a sarcastic bitch."

"Oh, well, that isn't very nice," he pouted, his voice rife with feigned injury. "I thought we were friends."

"Do you routinely try to sabotage your friends' missions, ignore them when they say hello, and generally act like an ass to them?" she asked absently, not really paying much attention to the conversation anymore as her body was lulled into a drowsy torpor by the warm sun and soft grass.

"Um. Yeah. I think that pretty much covers it." She could imagine him rubbing the back of his neck in embarrassment such was the sheepishness in his voice. She didn't believe it for a second.

"Oh. Well then yeah, I guess we are friends." She yawned loudly, rolling over onto her side and pillowing her head with her hands. "Weird. I could have sworn we weren't."

With her eye drifting closed, she missed the genuine look of hurt that momentarily clouded her sensei's own.

***

It was lunchtime in Konoha, and four kunoichi were gathered at their favorite restaurant for a long-overdue lunch date and heavy-duty gossip session. Kakashi was once again on a mission, and Sakura found it as good a time as any to reconnect with the friends she had been so diligently avoiding for the last month. She was eternally grateful to the universe as a whole that Naruto had been away from the Village on one of his quests to become stronger when she had been injured because she never would have been able to deal with the cheerful blond and his unique ability to insinuate himself into all aspects of her life despite her express desire that he not.

That Ino and Tenten and Hinata had, had the good sense to leave deep conversations for another day when they would run into her at the bar after she began training with her ex-sensei made Sakura very glad she had such discerning companions. Even the fact that Ino would _not _let the stupid sparkly eye-patch idea drop hadn't been able to put Sakura into a foul mood.

The women had dined on a variety of curries, fried noodles, vegetable and shrimp tempura, egg-fried rice, and pork-filled dumplings in relative silence. It had become an unwritten rule that no cracking of jokes was allowed during the meal portion of their get-togethers after the 'noodle-out-the-nose' incident of a year ago.

Once the serious business of eating had neared completion – only occasionally would a pair of chopsticks shoot out to snare a last bite of tempura or favorite pickle – and deserts and tea had been served, the women got down to the equally serious business of gossiping.

Sakura soaked it all in, enjoying the delighted susurrus of voices surrounding her, incasing her in fond memories of other meals and other meetings with her friends. She was beginning to feel horribly nostalgic and a little guilty for attempting to shut these women out when she probably needed them the most when Ino turned her considerable attention on her.

"So, Sakura, what is up with you and that idiot sensei of yours? You hang out with him all the time now. Don't tell me you guys are forming some secret society of cyclopses, are you?" she asked curiously, a teasing edge to her voice.

"Well, I could always poke you in the eye with my dango stick and you could find out for yourself, Pig," Sakura offered helpfully as she removed the last sugary sweet from said stick.

"Now, Sakura, that really isn't an answer," Tenten cajoled lightly.

Sakura mumbled into her hand, "He's helping me train."

"Ah," was breathed in understanding by each of the girls sitting around the table. They all shared conciliatory smiles with her, and Hinata even went so far as to say, "That's good, Sakura-chan. We are all very glad that someone is there that understands what you are going through." For some reason, the hated suffix wasn't as hard to take from the soft-spoken Hyuuga.

Ino, with remarkable tact, let the matter drop and began to speculate on just which parts of a male were the most attractive. She was certain that a man had to have a nice ass for any serious commitment to occur while Tenten argued that if his hair was nicer than hers, all bets were off, and that she preferred a guy with a great smile. It was possible she wasn't entirely over Neji who had better hair than almost anyone in Konoha, male or female, and only very rarely smiled. Hinata ventured a shy, "Eyes," before realizing what she had said and glancing quickly toward Sakura with an embarrassed flush. Luckily, Sakura seemed to be only half paying attention to the conversation and no retribution appeared forthcoming for her slipup.

"What about you, Sakura? What do you think?" Tenten asked happily, her desire to include the now somewhat brooding young woman into the conversation all too obvious.

Sakura, who, after the admission that he had been teaching her, had been contemplating her next training session with Kakashi – he had said something about making sure her genjutsu had not been affected by her altered sight – responded absently, "Oh. His hands."

"Hands?" Ino balked. "Sakura, you can't be serious. Hands are_ so_ boring."

Sakura defended her assertion without thinking, "They are not _boring_. What could be boring about long, tapered fingers ending in perfect, square-cut nails? Tanned and scarred and lovely backs. Warm, pale and calloused palms. So agile and precise with _such_ economy of motion when he forms a seal.." She took a long sip of her bubble tea, idly chewing on a sphere of tapioca, lost in her thoughts of the perfect hands.

The women all paused, staring at her aghast when Tenten finally managed to ask, "When _who_ forms a seal, Sakura?"

She blinked at her friend. "Who..? No one," she answered quickly.

"Oh. My. God! Sakura!" Ino shrieked. Tenten and Hinata covered their ears protectively while several of the eatery's other patrons turned to look at the over-excitable blonde. "You did not just admit to having a thing for Hatake, did you? Did you?!"

"No!" Sakura hissed, "But everyone in this building is going to think I do, thanks to you, Pig! Shut up!" She paused. "And why would you even think I was describing him?" There was a note of desperate curiosity in her voice that none of her friends failed to pick up on.

"Because he's the only guy in Konoha who hides everything _but_ his hands, Forehead!" Ino hadn't bothered to lower her voice and more and more customers were starting to stare. "Plus, you've been spending every evening with him _and_ your days off! Why didn't you tell us?" she all but wailed.

"Because there wasn't anything to tell, you stupid cow. He's just helping me." Sakura glowered at her best friend. She was about ready to toss some bills down on the table and make a break for it.

"But Sakura," Hinata stated hesitantly, "we all thought you two hated each other."

"We do," Sakura growled, arms crossing in front of her defensively.

"Then _why_ is he _helping_ you, Forehead?" Ino crowed triumphantly. She always did love new gossip, even if it was horribly untrue and potentially damaging not to mention slightly demeaning even to her own friends.

Sakura slumped, "I don't know."

The girls looked at her with expressions ranging from sympathetic incredulity to slightly disturbing glee. At least Ino had stopped shouting, and most of the other diners had returned their attention to their own meals.

Of all of them, it was Hinata who finally broke the silence. "But.. you do like him, don't you, Sakura-chan?"

"I don't know," Sakura repeated softly. "Maybe."

She buried her face in her hands, "He's just been so _nice_ to me, and it's so _confusing_, and he's the only guy that even will look at me like I'm attractive anymore… And I just don't know."

"I told you to opt for the sexy eye-patch, Sakura. Guys love the sexy eye-patch," Ino offered consolingly.

"Shut up, Pig," Sakura mumbled from the comfort of her hands.

"I'm just trying to help, Forehead."

"No, you aren't."

"Yes, Sakura, I am." Ino sounded hurt, a lot like Kakashi had the other day. She wasn't sure anymore if he had been teasing. She also had no idea how she had wound up in her bed after she had fallen asleep on the soft grass of the training field. She hadn't even known Kakashi knew where she lived. This whole thing was just too confusing and too sucky to be discussed over such a nice lunch.

She looked up at the other girls, "Thank you for lunch, guys. I think I'm going to go home and have a good sulk. It isn't every day you realize you have a crush on your teacher."

As she began to stand, Ino grasped her arm, "Oh no you don't, Forehead. You need a plan, not a sulk."

"A plan?" Sakura asked blankly.

"Yes, a plan," Ino repeated a little more slowly, as if speaking to a small child. "I haven't seen you this worked up over a guy since that little Uchiha twat, which means you like him more than you care to admit, which means… you need a plan."

Tenten and Hinata nodded in agreement.

"Yeah, Sakura," Tenten added, "With how goofily you were describing his hands, it makes me wonder what you'll do when you actually get to see his face let alone the rest of him."

Sakura blushed profusely, "I don't even think he likes me. I probably won't ever get to see 'the rest of him'."

"Sakura.." Ino said warningly, "That sounds a lot like another admission. Did you get to see Kaka-sensei's face?" The frown she directed at Sakura made her blush all the harder.

"..Yes."

"Why didn't you tell us?!" It was all the girls shouting this time, not just Ino.

With that last outburst, the party was forcibly relocated to Ino's apartment when management kindly asked them to leave as they were apparently scaring the other customers. Laughing loudly and half-dragging Sakura through the streets of Konoha, the girls made their way to Ino's place, various scenarios and schemes turning over in their devious little heads. Sakura just hoped she would survive the embarrassment of Kakashi returning home to the rumors that the Village's only pink-haired kunoichi had the hots for him.

***


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Continues to not belong to me.

My apologies if any of you were actually waiting for this update. I was run over by a CNG on the highway of life. Honest. Though what the hell an auto rickshaw was doing on the highway, I'll never know.

It also occurs to me that I may have promised a few of you porn in this chapter. Well, I lied. But it will be there in the next one. Consider that fair warning. Also, this chapter is relatively useless, but I liked it. And there may be some spoilers for the manga, but hopefully they're so interwoven with my lies, you won't be able to tell what they are unless you've actually read the manga and then… who really cares if they're spoilers.

And lastly, there are some bad words. I think that's about it.

***

It turned out that the plan, or rather _plans _with an _s_, involved a lot of hard work. But that was okay because Sakura had three of the hardest working girls in Konoha to back her up.

Normally, when Sakura had her sights set on a potential bedfellow, her tactics ran toward the extremely straightforward. This time, however, she was not convinced that sauntering up to Kakashi-sensei and asking him if he wanted to have sex was a wise idea. For one, there was really no telling what might come out of the man's mouth. For two, one of the things that could potentially come out of his mouth was laughter. In which case, she would most probably have to murder him, incurring Tsunade's horrible and terrible wrath.

Another tried and true method, that of walking up to a man in the bar and planting a searing kiss on his happily shocked mouth, was out as well since the jackass just _had_ to wear a mask. Sakura doubted highly that her kisses would be quite so effective through a layer of gritty cotton.

Yet another obstacle to her seduction was the fact she had _no _idea what he even _liked_. Sure, he carried _Icha Icha_ around like it was glued to his fingers – which really wasn't the best of thoughts – but that didn't mean the man lusted after girls half his age. Hell, he could even lust after _boys_ half his age since getting one's jollies from _reading_ porn was generally a female thing.

In all honesty, she knew next to nothing about him,other than the fact he was an irritating ass and he made being a near cripple look good. _Damn_ good.

That's where Plan A came into play.

Plan A, otherwise known as Digging Up Dirt on Hatake, was a three-pronged information gathering mission with each of her friends assigned to a different aspect of Kakashi's life. Not only would this information help Sakura in deciding if her teacher would make a suitable bed warmer, it would also give her loads of blackmail material should their relationship progress into something more serious – and knowing whether a potential lover was a psychotic killer never hurt, either. Well, she knew he was a killer, but she felt a bit of clarification about the psychotic part was in order.

The girls had spent the better part of the afternoon deciding which aspects of Hatake's life were the most pertinent and easily researched. Finally, they had settled on his family, his time in ANBU, and, of course, the infamous eye. Hinata had volunteered to ask her father what he knew about the Hatake family as he was currently the Village's top authority in all things familial and clan related. Ino had argued that her own mother was way more informed about the goings-on of the families of Konoha but was summarily shouted down when it was pointed out that they were interested in fact, not fiction.

Ino's sulking quickly gave way when she found out that she would be given the green light to snoop into Kakashi's medical records. Okay, perhaps no one in the room actually had the authority to give her the go-ahead. But at least someone else had told her to do it, and she could blame them entirely if she were caught. Being caught, however, was highly unlikely given the fact that she knew the workings of the hospital backwards and forwards. Sometimes it seemed that she was there more often than even Shizune, and Shizune had a rollaway and a microwave and mini-fridge combo and about five changes of clothes in her office incase she got _real_ busy.

It was supremely disturbing, but Ino actually _enjoyed_ working at the hospital – privately, Sakura believed it was because of the requirement that all male shinobi have annual physicals, complete with hernia checks – and no one would question why she needed to see a particular patient's file, even if it were the Copy Nin's. Her relative impunity when it came to protected health information would allow her to dig up any info the hospital had on when and where and how Kakashi had lost and then regained an eye.

On a similar note, Tenten was almost equally filled with glee over the thought of breaking into Kakashi's ANBU records, tracking down any of his team members that were still alive, and asking them a few friendly questions about the extent of the Copy Nin's derangement. If anyone knew how freaking messed up you were, it was your ANBU team. This was something that Tenten could attest to personally having been a card-carrying member for the past couple years. It seemed like ever since she'd begun sporting the whorled tattoo, her love for being sneaky had increased a hundred-fold.

Sakura was a bit taken aback by the pure joy that radiated from her friend over the thought of breaking into her organization's top-secret files. Ino, she could understand. Ino was a hopeless degenerate, but Tenten? She supposed she should enjoy it while it lasted – and continued to benefit her.

While her devious little friends collected the details of her potential lover's life, it was Sakura's mission to begin the preliminary stages of Plan B, and perhaps gather a little intel of her own. This required another visit to the Hokage Tower.

Hopefully, her larcenous mentor had 'forgotten' that she owed Kakashi his book back. If not, Sakura was going to have to shell out a lot of cash for what she considered cheap porn. Apparently, since his death, Jiraiya's _masterpieces_ had gone considerably up in value.

Unfortunately, she had a shift at the hospital that morning. But, wanting to get this over with as soon as possible, she set her alarm a few hours ahead so that she could obtain her typical early morning peace offerings. Sakura's prerequisite gifts for arriving at such an ungodly hour – seven a.m. – were extra large mochas and a box full of the best éclairs the Village had to offer.

As she crested the stairs, she found that Shizune was once again covering for her, and, recalling her previous treatment of the put-upon gate guard, she magnanimously bestowed a cup and pastry onto Izumo's desk as she passed by. She was even careful not to set her offerings on anything that might be important, which was no easy feat as the entire desk was littered with papers and folders and scrolls in various states of completion. She _really_ needed to get back on the duty roster or nothing was going to get signed and stamped ever again.

Izumo waved her in absently, his eyes focused greedily on the steaming paper cup and luscious chocolate éclair. Sakura smiled to herself. If she had known it was that easy to bypass security… Oh, who the hell was she kidding? She still would have taken the opportunity to make Izumo squirm just for the entertainment value alone.

As she entered the Hokage's office, she realized she needn't have worried about Tsunade returning the book. An entire shelf – one that Sakura was certain had contained the minutes of the past twenty-five years of Council meetings – had been dedicated to what she assumed where the complete works of the Ero Sennin.

Sakura smirked. Apparently her shishou's taste in porn ran the same way as her taste in sake – overly expensive swill. She wondered who she had gotten to 'donate' the collection. They were too shiny and new to be Kakashi's. Knowing her mentor, she had probably gotten Izumo to pilfer them from the nearest naughty book vendor. She was kinda glad she'd decided to be nice to him today.

"Wake up, my beloved leader. I've brought breakfast," Sakura chimed, causing Tsunade's head to jerk up sharply from its formerly inclined position against the top of her desk. She gazed at her student with bleary, bloodshot eyes.

"Is it alcoholic?" she croaked.

"Nope."

"Is it at least unhealthy?" she whined.

"Yep."

"That'll do. Bring it here."

Smiling, Sakura deposited the cup carrier and box on the side of her shishou's desk and plopped down into a nearby chair. This was their normal morning routine. There would be no more speaking until the coffee and at least half the box of sweets had disappeared.

Once the serious business of breaking their fasts was out of the way, Sakura thought it prudent to get straight to the point of her visit.

"I need one of those books," she stated bluntly, gesturing toward the newly refilled bookshelf.

Tsunade gave her a hard glare, "I think not."

"Besides, they aren't Hatake's. I already gave his back," she continued, still frowning. "I thought I told you that you weren't allowed to kill him?"

"I'm not _trying_ to kill him. I just need one of those books." She pointed to one with a bright green cover, "That one. I want that one."

"Well, you can't have it," Tsunade stated imperiously.

"Wait," Sakura blinked, "You already gave him his book back, and he's still helping me?"

"So it would seem."

"And you never asked him to?" Sakura asked mistrustfully.

"Never."

"And you haven't been assigning him shorter missions so that he would have more time to help me train?" she continued her interrogation.

"No," Tsunade replied with a gleam in her eye, "He's been _requesting_ them."

"Requesting them," Sakura repeated. She slumped back into her chair, shell-shocked. Perhaps her plan had a chance of success after all.

"Sakura, why are you asking me all of these questions?"

"Don't give me that. You know very well _why_," she snapped peevishly, and then added hesitantly, "Do you approve?"

"Of Hatake? Never," Tsunade replied derisively. But as she spoke, she stood and retrieved the green-jacketed book from its shelf. "But… you could do much worse."

Sakura rose from her chair and moved to accept the book held in her teacher's hands. Without warning, because that's the only way these sorts of things could be done, she gave Tsunade a great big hug. "Thanks, Shishou," she whispered before bounding out the door, her prize carefully clutched to her chest. Now all she had to do was find time to read the horrid thing.

***

Sakura met with the girls three days later to go over their finds.

Hinata was first up. She had couched her questions to her father in the guise of wanting to know more about the current ninja lineages in anticipation of her eventual rise to head of house. She had been awarded with hours of mind-numbing boredom as her father recounted every little detail he could recall about all the surviving ninja clans.

Good old Hinata. She really knew how to take one for the team.

But, it turned out that there was no 'Hatake clan' to speak of. There really wasn't even a family. There was just Kakashi's foundling father, Sakumo, and his delicate civilian bride, Chizuko, though she had not lived even long enough to see the second summer of her little son's life. Some blood disease that the medics of Konoha could not cure had taken her in the spring. It was definitely something to worry about if she ever wanted to have a child with the man, but otherwise inconsequential. Plus, there was always the added bonus of no mother-in-law.

Sakumo was another matter entirely. Kakashi's father had been the White Fang of Konoha. Reportedly raised by wolves until he was found wandering in the woods by a returning team of Leaf-nin at the tender age of three, he had become a ward of the Village and enrolled in the Academy as soon as it was apparent he possessed an _incredibly enormous_ amount of chakra for a toddler – for anyone, really. He had swiftly risen through the shinobi ranks, becoming jonin by the age of thirteen. He was rumored to be even stronger than the first Hokage.

His downfall had come when he had chosen his team over his mission. The mission had failed, though his team had survived. Unfortunately, it had cost the Village greatly, in lives as well as face. One didn't fail to assassinate the Kazekage of Sand without some serious repercussions. Spurned by the Village for his disastrous decision, Sakumo had slowly slipped into a deep depression, eventually taking his own life. It was believed that Kakashi had been the first to find him. That had to fuck a person up _real_ bad.

Apparently it had been bad enough to turn him into an anal-retentive neat freak, according to Tenten. She had taken the liberty of breaking into his Academy files after exhausting her own part of the mission and syncing up her info with the other two girls. He had been a punctilious and by all accounts _punctual_ little ninja, following every rule and turning in his classmates that did not. Sakura was rather glad he had grown out of those habits, because if she wanted to kill him now, she could only _imagine_ the homicidal urges that would have assailed her had her sensei still been such an overwhelmingly Type-A personality. There was a collective shudder around the room at the very thought.

The next piece of information Tenten had to offer didn't win Kakashi any points, either. Hatake Kakashi's genin trainer had been none other than Namikaze Minato, the Fourth Hokage. But, more importantly, Minato was Naruto's father. Naruto's _dad_ had taught _Kakashi_. Like life wasn't ironic enough. Though, everyone agreed, this did explain _a lot_ – like why Kakashi was such a perverted idiot at times. The other members of his team had been an Uchiha boy and a female medic from the Inuzuka clan. Kakashi had also been elevated to jonin at the age of thirteen like his father before him, and that's where the Academy records stopped.

Luckily, Ino was there to pick up the tale. According to his medical records, it was on his first mission as a jonin that Kakashi lost his eye. It was on that same mission that his teammate, Uchiha Obito, had lost his life.

"Yeah, I guess on his first mission, he royally fucked up," Ino quipped cheerfully.

"You don't have to sound so happy about it, Pig," Sakura admonished.

"Yes, I do. It's nice to know that even the great Copy-nin can make horrible and terrible mistakes." Ino's eyes took on a nasty glint, "It should give you some hope, too, Forehead, that he might _actually_ decide to sleep with you."

"Can you, for five minutes, stop being a cunt and get on with the story," Sakura responded sweetly.

"Fine, fine. So, on his first mission as team leader, Kakashi lost his eye to an Iwa-nin, and then later, this Obito kid got crushed to death when they were trying to rescue their medic, Inuzuka Rin. After the Uchiha bit it – or at least I hope he was dead because if not, it had to have hurt _really, really _bad – Rin did a quick and dirty transplant of one of his eyes. I don't know how the hell they made it home, and the report doesn't say. But, lucky for Kakashi, they got back to Konoha before the optic nerve had a chance to burrow completely into his brain. See, the eye had been in its Sharingan mode and was apparently intent on digging its way through your beloved sensei's grey matter. The medics at the hospital had a hell of a time stopping the thing, according to their notes. He was confined to a hospital bed for nearly two months while they tried to figure out what to do. They couldn't remove it. It had intertwined itself too deeply into his nerves and brain tissue, but they couldn't just let it continue to eat its way through his skull, either. Well, I guess they could have, but then none of us would be having this discussion right now, because he would be dead."

A polite cough from Tenten and a cold glare from Sakura prompted Ino to _just get on with it already_. Hinata just sat in the corner wringing her hands like she didn't know how the story would end.

"Anyway, a few medics nearly burnt themselves out placing stasis fields around the thing, and a few more nearly went insane when they inadvertently got themselves trapped in genjutsus created by the distraught little oculus. They never did manage to fix the problem. If the stasis fields are allowed to completely degenerate, it'd crawl right into his brain in like five seconds. That's why he's _supposed_ to be seen every six months by an ocular medic. I bet you all can guess how often he actually does get seen."

The unhappy frowns sported by every other occupant of the room seemed to satisfy Ino enough for her to continue.

"So, he's basically held together with tape and spit. And, that's why he can't turn the Sharingan off and on like an Uchiha. I guess they had different brain connections for their eyes. But… we'll never know since they're all officially dead. Ah well, it would have made a great paper," Ino ended wistfully.

"Oh," she felt compelled to add, "Sakura, you will be pleased to note that as of his last physical, he was STD free. Of course, his last physical was conducted a little over three years ago, so you might want to get him into the hospital as soon as possible," she finished with a leer.

"I'm not offering my sensei up to the tender mercies of your cold and grasping hands, Yamanaka Ino, so you can just forget about it," Sakura challenged.

The two girls glared hotly across the room at each other before bursting out into gales of unrestrained laughter. The other two occupants of the room just rolled there eyes being used to such random displays of insanity from the pair.

When she finally recovered enough to speak, Sakura began counting off on her fingers, "So, we know that Minato-san is dead and this Uchiha Obito… What about the Inuzuka girl? Are all his former teammates gone?"

"Y-yes, Sakura-chan," Hinata stumbled. It was plain to see she was upset by all the talk of death and despair. "I-I… When I found out that one of his teammates was an Inuzuka, I went to Kiba. Rin was his mother's cousin. She was killed during a mission to Cloud when she was sixteen. B-by all accounts, Kakashi and she were more than just teammates," Hinata blushed profusely.

"Yeah," Tenten picked up, "After that's when he joined ANBU. Really threw himself into his work, I guess. He was already in all the bingo books, so it wasn't like an additional mask actually helped to hide who he was. In some of his mission reports, targets actually turned tail and _ran_ when they caught sight of him – made it easier to pick them off from the back, I guess. But still, can you _imagine_ what it would feel like to have enemy ninja run screaming in terror just from the very _sight_ of you?" Tenten sighed in what appeared to be ecstasy from the thought. Sakura supposed she'd have to watch her a little more closely. All this ANBU crap had gone to her friend's brain.

"What was his time like in ANBU, and why did he leave?" Sakura prompted. Tenten's eyes had become a bit glazed.

"Oh, it was pretty typical. I mean, recon, intel, guard duty, interrogations, assassinations… He did it all. Well, there were a lot more assassinations in his file than most other operatives can boast, but he _is_ the Copy-nin," Tenten shrugged. "Um.. oh yeah. There were a lot more of his teammates left alive, too, than I had thought there were going to be. Apparently, he never let a single one die while on a mission with him. He has _really_ excellent stats."

Ino started clicking her fingers together in front of Tenten's face as her eyes had once again taken on a far-away and dreamy look, "Focus, Warrior Maiden of Doom. Focus."

"Alright, alright," Tenten complied grumpily, "So, I talked to the ones I could find. Apparently, Kakashi isn't much different now than he was back then, except he used to read comic books instead of porn. He would sit with his little book all quiet and unassuming, then bust out with some witty insult and go back to his reading."

"In between killing and extorting people," Ino added dryly.

"Yeah," Tenten smiled fondly. "Sakura, if you don't want him, can I have him?"

"Tenten, you have totally got first dibs if this thing falls through," Sakura replied sincerely.

"Aww. Thanks, Sakura." Tenten beamed happily, "Anyway, he did have a few flings with his fellow operatives. All female, so at least that's one thing you don't have to worry about. And lastly, he left because he was getting _bored_ – of ANBU. Can you believe that?"

"No," the other girls replied, each with passably straight faces.

"Me, either. Okay, that's all I found out. I think Ino's got a bit more for you, and then we can go eat some pizza. I'm _dying_."

"What else did you find out, Pig?" Sakura asked with some interest.

"Well, I talked to Genma…"

"Completely in the interest of the cause, I'm sure," Sakura grinned.

"Yeah, shut up." Ino frowned.

"I'm sorry. Please, do go on."

"So I _talked_ to Genma about his stupid friend for _my_ stupid friend, but not letting him know it was for my stupid friend, because I'm good like that."

"Thanks, Ino. Bunches. What did you ask him?"

"I asked him if Kakashi liked girls, because there was kind of a bet going on, and I wanted to put in. But I also wanted to make sure I won," she smirked.

All the girls agreed that, that was masterfully played.

"What did he say?"

"After he finished laughing his ass off, he told me that yes, Kakashi likes girls. But that it was difficult for the sorry bastard to pick up chicks what with never wanting to take his stupid – and I'm paraphrasing here – mask off. He said that apparently the novelty of having sex with a man in a mask wore off about the third or fourth go-round for most."

A tension-filled stillness suffused the room until it was broken by Hinata's tentative voice.

"But, Sakura," she offered unnecessarily, "He's already taken his mask off for you."

"I know." She proceeded to bang the back of her head softly against the wall. "I know."

"Quit your whining, Forehead. That's a _good_ thing. Now, it's time for food. Come on."

As Ino grabbed her hand, dragging her up and out the door, Sakura wondered what she'd gotten herself into. Kakashi's life, like a lot of ninjas', had been a hard one. Having lost his mother so early and his father so tragically, and then his teammates, one by one, it was a wonder he wasn't as loony as poor Sasuke had been. Maybe he was, and this whole thing was a horrible, terrible idea. But, for some reason, she just couldn't shake the _wanting_.

Though, for his sake, she hoped he wasn't comparing her to this _Rin_ person, and that's why he was helping her. Because so help her, he'd wish for death by the time she was through if that was the case. She was Haru no Sakura, damn it, the Spring Blossom, and just because she was a girl and a medic did not mean she was some replacement for his dead girlfriend.

But, the girls' searches had been thorough and productive. She now knew that she had no immediate competition, no disapproving parents to contend with – if she didn't count her own – and she had testimony that Kakashi did, in fact, like girls. All in all, Sakura was feeling pretty good about her chances. She was just lacking one tiny bit of information she felt vitally important to her decision, a piece of information that could only be obtained from the jackass himself. She was torn between wishing he would hurry home and bribing Izumo to bar him at the gates.


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: Still not mine. If it were, it probably wouldn't be allowed in _Shonen Jump_.

So, I know I shouldn't do this. I did, after all, just post… what was it? Yesterday? But I can't help myself.

Here is your porn, kiddies. Remember, I didn't promise it would be good porn, just that it would be there. Also, I don't think it will scar you for life if you're underage, but please skip the naughty bits if you are and you've been reading. Think of your poor mothers. Then think of them smacking me. Then think of me being mad. Yeah, so if you don't want to read the sticky bits, just skip past the part where they start rolling around on the ground. Easy enough.

***

Sakura woke the next morning with a note tightly pinned to her door. After pocketing the kunai that had secured it – hey, it was a nice kunai – she proceeded to attempt to decipher the missive. The only things she really needed to know were when and where, since it was obviously from Kakashi, and anything from Kakashi had to be about her training.

From what she could tell – and she'd had a fair bit of practice with this sort of thing over the past few weeks – he wanted to meet up in the usual place at the usual time. She hoped he'd bypassed all of the gossip mills on his way through the Village and that he slept the rest of the day until her practice session, because she did not look forward to explaining why everyone in town thought she was smitten with him. It didn't matter that it was true. No one needed to be talking about her behind her back unless it was to say how nice she looked in her new jeans.

She arrived at room twenty-six with only a minute to spare and in a seriously foul mood. Her shift had run over at the hospital, and she'd only had time to catch a quick shower and change into her practice clothes before racing to reach the Jonin HQ before her uncharacteristically on-time sensei. She hadn't had a chance to do _anything_ at all with her hair other than pull it back into a sloppy ponytail after exiting the shower. It was now leaving an uncomfortably damp patch on the back of her shirt. Swearing to all that was holy that if he touched her hair today she'd break all of his fingers, she began to stretch as she waited for him to appear.

She didn't have long to wait. He came strolling in the door at exactly seven-oh-one on the dot.

Miraculously, he didn't mention anything about her undying love for him, so either Ino had somehow managed to blackmail, threaten, and generally coerce everyone in the eatery to stay mum on the subject of their disastrous lunchtime discussion or Kakashi had suddenly learned the definition of the word 'tact' and took it to heart. Sakura was pretty sure that none of Kakashi's books contained four-letter words of such an innocuous nature – doubly sure now that she'd subjected herself to one personally – and so began calculating how long she'd have to buy Ino lunch to pay her back for such a tremendous favor, even though it had been entirely _her_ fault to begin with.

Mercifully, he kept his hands to himself the entire night. Instead of a traditional spar, he had Sakura sit cross-legged on the floor and create genjutsu after genjutsu. He tested her ability to craft and maintain realistic visual, auditory, and tactile illusions. He had her start with some of the most basic and work her way up to some of the most difficult jutsus that could be done without the aid of a kekkei genkai. Thankfully, according to Kakashi, her genjutsu had not suffered with the loss of her eye. Though, with the ease in which Kakashi escaped her every attempt to ensnare him, it was somewhat difficult for her to tell.

Exhausted and still a bit irritable, she accepted the hand-up he offered her after their session was over. There was still one thing she needed to do that night, and it was making her so nervous that she even forgot the long-standing tradition of trying to hurt him as he helped her up off the floor.

Wiping away stray strands of hair that had become plastered to her forehead, she opened her mouth to ask her question. It was gratifying to note that Kakashi tensed up a bit, most likely in anticipation of some scathing insult that would soon issue forth from her mouth. Boy, was he in for a surprise.

"Why did you agree to help me?" There, she'd done it. Now, it was entirely up to him.

"Because I get to pummel my least favorite student into the ground on an almost daily basis?" he offered brightly and without missing a beat.

"If you're going to lie, please choose something more believable. You taught _Naruto_ and _Sasuke_. There is no way I was more obnoxious than those two." She folded her arms beneath her breasts and scowled up at him.

"No, but at least those two made up for it in entertainment value." His smirk was clearly visible despite the mask. "You, Sakura-chan, were never very amusing up until about six weeks ago."

She rolled her eye at him. She had known this was a terrible idea, but she pressed on anyway, "I would appreciate a real answer, but if you don't have it in you, I understand." Gazing at him unblinkingly, expectantly, she waited for him to make a decision. Satisfyingly, it didn't take long for him to break.

"It's because… because I remember what it was like," he shrugged noncommittally, "And you asked nicely." His hand came up to scratch embarrassedly through his hair and then settle at the back of his neck. She nearly had to stop herself from drooling until he had to ruin it by speaking again.

"Plus, I do get to stare at your ass a lot."

"You are such a mush-brained imbecile," she bemoaned, moving to punch him in the shoulder.

Dodging thoughtlessly, he grinned quite unrepentantly, "And you're my student. So what does that make you?"

"Desperate," she stated with grim finality.

One corner of her mouth twitched upwards in an aborted attempt at a grin as she watched her teacher openly laugh at her rejoinder.

"Goodnight, Sensei." She spoke loudly, breaking through Kakashi's wall of mirth.

"Goodnight, Sakura-chan." He wiped some moisture away from the corner of his eye as his laughing fit came to a close. "We'll pick this up tomorrow."

"Oh…" she stopped him with a sound.

"Hmm?" he responded in kind.

"Sensei, tomorrow could we… could we practice with the ninjato?" Her voice was as hesitant and unsure as the first time she had asked him for help.

He stared at her a moment, confusion written across the visible portion of his face and laced through his voice, "Sure, Sakura, if it means that much to you."

"It does, Sensei." She gave him a respectful half-bow which he returned with a bemused half-wave before disappearing in his customary puff of smoke.

"It does," she repeated to the center of the room. She had her answer. It was time to roll out Plan B.

***

Sakura slipped off her zori at the door of room twenty-six while casting surreptitious glances down the corridors to either side. She'd done her best to reach the Jonin HQ unseen; though, bouncing from rooftop to rooftop was slightly more difficult wearing the looser fitting shoes than she'd expected. But, if she were going to wear tabi, she might as well wear _real_ sandals, too.

She knew Kakashi would know something was up when he saw the simple black, cloth-covered sandals sitting innocently in front of the door, but she figured she'd give him a fighting chance. If he saw her choice in footwear and decided to make a break for it, she wouldn't fault him. Okay, maybe a little, but she'd understand.

She positioned herself in the darkest corner of the tiny room, her eye fixed steadily on the door. She was as nervous now as she could ever remember being, and she attempted a little light meditation while she waited the remaining half-hour for her teacher.

She'd called in sick today to have time to prepare for tonight – so had the other girls, apparently, because they had all shown up at her apartment ready to help. She was grateful, because she couldn't tie a proper ceremonial knot without at least eleven tries and Ino had always been better at doing her hair.

While Hinata wrapped and tied her up like a pretty package and Ino did some miracle work with her hair, Tenten sat in the corner avidly reading the book Sakura'd borrowed from her shishou. Research, she said, when asked just what the hell she was doing. Yeah, right.

After the girls were done with her, Sakura took a good long look at herself in the mirror. Clad in a simple white kimono and a man's dark blue hakama, courtesy of Clan Hyuuga; her hair twisted into a loose bun secured with two dagger-like hair pins, courtesy of Tenten's miraculous weapons scroll; and sporting a satiny black eye-patch, courtesy of Ino's prop closet – Sakura did _not_ want to know why the hell her friend needed a _prop closet_ for God's sake – she looked just like the villainous female ronin from chapters seven through nine – with a kinky flash back in chapter fifteen – of _Icha Icha Tactics_. She'd even taken the risk of wearing her ceremonial ninjato and one of her father's wakizashi to complete the outfit. She only hoped she wouldn't be tempted to use them.

The door of room twenty-six opened, and Sakura steeled herself for action. This was it. There was no going back.

As her sensei entered the room, she stepped forward from the shadows. Slowly and with as much grace as she could muster, she removed her swords, placing them on a nearby wall rack. Picking up one of the practice swords from the rack, she turned to directly face her teacher. She gave him a low, formal bow before falling into a basic sword fighting stance.

Kakashi stared at her with no little confusion. She could almost see the little wheels in his head turning. Had his student finally snapped and was about to try and kill him dressed as a samurai pirate, or was something a little more _pleasant_ about to happen? Did he run and hide or confront this new development head on? Stay or go? Flee or fight? At last, curiosity evidently won out, because he picked up a practice sword and advanced on her.

They came together several times, wooden swords 'clack, click, clacking' together rhythmically. Sakura tried to hold her own, and if it had been anyone other than Kakashi, she probably would have. But, since it was her sensei, she found herself backed against a corner, about to be disarmed. Perfect.

"There's just something about a man who is good with a sword. It makes you wonder what _other_ sorts of blades he's skilled with," she purred the line she had pilfered from his cherished book while gazing up at him seductively.

Kakashi looked at her with something akin to awed reverence, "You read it. You actually read it."

"Surprised?" was all she could think to say. She wasn't about to tell him she found the books boring and trite and the sex scenes completely unimaginative where they weren't physically impossible. She wondered if he knew that if he played his cards right, he might actually find out just how impossible some of those positions were.

Apparently he did not, because the next words out of his mouth were, "That you can read? Of course."

"I'm going to kill you," she growled menacingly.

"Is that a threat or foreplay?" he asked hopefully.

"Both."

And with that, she launched herself at him, easily bearing him to the ground in his shock. Her dominance lasted all of five seconds as he _finally_ seemed to realize what was going on and rolled her beneath him.

No one, she was quite sure, had ever accused Hatake Kakashi of being a slow learner. Once he had grasped the concept, he was quick to follow through with a practical application.

His hands reached down to remove her hairpins, flinging them to the opposite side of the room, presumably for safety's sake, and spilling all of Ino's hard work onto the practice room floor.

Sakura, in turn, reached up and gently pulled down his mask. If it bothered him, he didn't appear to waste much time fretting over it, choosing instead to tug his half-gloves off with his teeth and to get right back down to business.

Her hands were making quick work of his jonin vest while his clever fingers were being insinuated into the slits at the sides of her hakama. He pushed the bottom of her kimono upwards, his hands skimming over the warm skin at the tops of her thighs. A low moan escaped her, and seemingly of its own volition, one of her legs moved to wrap around him, pulling him close.

Sakura had omitted the tanto the devious ronin had worn strapped to her inner-thigh. She hoped Kakashi wasn't _too_ disappointed. From the way he groaned as she slid her fingers into his mess of hair and tried to bury his nose between her breasts, she supposed he wasn't going to complain.

She had also, his roving hands and burrowing face were quickly discovering, left the traditional undergarments and breast-bindings at home, as well.

He removed his hands from inside her clothing long enough for her to finish pulling off his vest and then turned his attention to the bow tied securely at her hip. He unknotted it with practiced ease. His dexterous little fingers moved up to untie her kimono. He pushed apart its sides as she shimmied out of her hakama.

And then, she was laid bare before him, her kimono gaping open and her hakama bunched at their feet. If he was going to do something stupid, now would be the time.

The only stupid thing he did was bite the side of her breast after he planted his face right back where it had been. She gave a little yelp, which only seemed to encourage him as he began to play with her chest in earnest. His tongue and teeth played havoc with her sensitive skin as his fingers lightly caressed her ribs and the undersides of her breasts.

He had just taken one of her nipples into his mouth when her body cried out for _more_.

She widened her hips, increasing the gap between her thighs and pressing him more snugly against her. She arched up into him for good measure, hoping he would figure out what she wanted.

Evidently, he did, because soon his trousers and pants were somewhere around the vicinity of his knees.

Impatiently, she reached down to guide him into her, receiving an appreciative groan as her fingers wrapped around him. He pushed into her with short, sharp thrusts that soon had her crying out wordlessly beneath him. Her body raced up to meet him again and again as her fingers tangled hopelessly into his hair and the fabric of his shirt.

The nerves, the anticipation, and his previous attention to her chest all combined to push her over the edge very quickly. She broke apart, screaming out what she hoped was his name. When she returned to herself, she was very pleased to find him still inside her. His pace had quickened and his thrusts had grown deeper. She did her best to rejoin his rhythm as she pulled him down for an elated kiss.

It occurred to her then that they had not actually kissed before. Their remaining eyes locked, and for a moment she was glad it had been her right that was taken, because otherwise she wouldn't have been able to see the wonder that was Hatake Kakashi's steel grey eye lost in the throes of passion.

She felt him grow impossibly hard and then a subtle warmth as he came inside her. And yet, he did not stop moving against her. Intrigued by this turn of events, she played along, continuing to move with him. His body dropped lower as he braced himself with only a forearm, his other hand sneaking in between them to touch her.

At the first gentle stroke of his fingers, her body jolted ridiculously. She would have been embarrassed had it not felt so good. Kakashi continued to stroke inside and outside of her until she came again, long and hard and utterly, wonderfully thorough. He nuzzled her neck and nipped at her ear before rolling to the side.

A self-satisfied smirk graced his perfect mouth as his gaze wandered down her body, but Sakura couldn't even bring herself to care being so blissed-out from her last orgasm. She turned and snuggled up against him, burying her face into his shirt to block out the light. For some reason, she was very, very sleepy.

"You're still wearing your socks," her idiot lover stated idiotically.

"So are you, idiot," she mumbled into his chest.

"I don't wear socks."

"Sandals, then. Stop talking. I like you so much better when you aren't talking." She yawned widely and stretched and then resettled against him, getting as comfortable as possible.

The arm he wasn't using to prop his head up draped over her, his hand idly playing with the tips of her hair.

"Are we… going to make this a habit, then?" His voice sounded oddly tentative, as if he thought she'd get dressed up like this, read his stupid book, fuck him on the floor of their practice room if she wasn't planning on having sex with him more than just the once, if he'd only let her. Boys were stupid.

"Mhm." She managed to murmur her sleepy assent.

"Ah." And with that, he finally relaxed, drawing her close and burying his nose in the crook of her neck.


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: Not mine.

A little bit of swearing. Nothing too bad other than that. Extended A/N at the bottom.

***

After their initial romp on the training room floor, Sakura and Kakashi fell into a bit of a routine. They would still meet up to spar as usual, but instead of trading insults at the end of each evening, they would trade something of a bit more _personal_ nature. Sometimes, he would take her roughly against the wall. Other times, she would show him just how far her knowledge of human anatomy extended.

Once, on one of Sakura's days off, they had chosen to practice outside and had nearly been caught by a lost team of genin. Kakashi had 'poofed' them away using his transportation jutsu just in the nick of time. Luckily for him, he'd remembered to bring her along because being ogled by a group of twelve-year-olds was not something Sakura would have been overly pleased with. In fact, had he left her behind, she would have made it her personal mission to make sure the bastard never got laid again.

Ostensibly because of that incident they'd moved their relations to whoever's apartment was the closest at the time – usually his. This was totally fine with Sakura since his apartment was actually _bigger_ than her tiny flat. It gave them more room to maneuver.

The first time she woke up at his place was a bit of a shock. She'd had to rush to her apartment to shower and change for her shift at the hospital. After that, she began keeping a set of work clothes and bathroom necessities on a shelf of his wardrobe she'd forced him to clear off for her.

They never put a name on what they were doing, never talked about their 'feelings' or what they each expected from the relationship. And a _relationship_ is what it had quickly become, Sakura realized one morning as she stepped out of Kakashi's shower and began picking through the numerous pieces of clothing she'd begun housing in his closet. She glanced over at her lover, still splayed across the bed, sound asleep. A look of genuine affection stole across her face as she watched him twist and turn in his sleep, looking to soak up any remaining warmth she had left between his sheets. And then she froze. What the hell was she doing?

She'd never been in a real 'relationship' before. Sure, she'd had her fair share of flings and dalliances and one-nighters, but nothing that had ever had any strings attached, let alone ever required two names on a lease or stress-filled holidays trying to impress or placate various sets of progenitors. Though, she didn't really anticipate having any problems placating Kakashi's parents, what with them only needing a bit of incense and good thoughts to remain content in the spirit world.

But, if she didn't even know what she really wanted, how was she ever supposed to know what _Kakashi_ wanted from all this? She supposed she could just _ask_ him, but when had he ever been one to give a straight answer to _anything_? Ino would say this required a plan. Sakura supposed that it did, but she'd be damned if she could think of one. So, she decided to do what she always did in times of confusion and stress. As she made her way toward coffee and donuts and the Hokage Tower, she could not seem to get the image of the peaceful half-smile Kakashi had worn that morning as he slept out of her mind.

***

A couple weeks later, Sakura waltzed into Kakashi's bedroom, her long hair pulled up into two high pigtails and her hitai-ate covering her missing-eye. Other than one of Kakashi's masks, she was completely nude.

"Who am I?" she queried brightly.

"Hmm, let me guess," her lazy lover replied, rolling over on the bed to face her, "Sexy no Jutsu – Kakashi Style?"

"No, silly," she chirped. "I'm Mirror Image Sexy no Jutsu – Kakashi Style. See? Eye's on the wrong side."

"Ah. I stand corrected. Come back to bed." He opened his arms toward her, and she happily leapt into them. She landed on him heavily, grinning in delight at his disgruntled 'oof' as the air was forced from his lungs.

She didn't give him time to regain his breath, instead yanking down his borrowed mask and stealing what was left of it in a playfully heated kiss. She teased his mouth with her lips, enjoying the wet sound as she sucked his bottom lip into her mouth and then released it. Her tongue then somehow found its way into his mouth. She licked his tongue, giggled, and then kissed the tip of his nose for good measure.

He wrapped her in his arms and pulled her tight against him so that she could do no more mischief.

Rubbing her face against his chest like a wicked cat, she looked up at him and said, "I have something to tell you."

He raised an eyebrow at her, "You're pregnant?"

"Yes, that's exactly it! However did you know?" she exclaimed with overly-fake enthusiasm. "And… it's Genma's. I just wanted you to know now, so that you weren't surprised when the kid popped out with brown hair," she finished reassuringly.

"Ah. Thanks for that."

"Anything for my favorite blanket," she beamed.

"Anything?" he queried, a decidedly dirty look in his one good eye.

"Yes, anything. But only after I've told you my news."

"I'm listening," he said when he clearly was not, his attention now somewhere around the nape of her neck and descending lower by the second.

"I'm leaving tomorrow." Her voice had lost the teasing, playful quality it had held only moments before.

"Mm?" He looked up at her dazedly from the vicinity of her breasts.

"On a mission. For about three weeks."

"A mission?" he questioned confusedly. "But your training… We've still been training together all this time. I thought you had to pass some test to be put back on the mission list… I don't understand."

"I passed the Hokage's test two weeks ago. With flying colors. Thanks to you," she stated softly.

"And you didn't feel the need to tell me this because…?" He didn't sound angry, but she wasn't sure if that was a good thing.

"I'm a ninja. I'm opportunistic," she shrugged. She would let him interpret that any way he wanted. She was _not_ about to tell him that she was terrified that if she had told him before about passing her test that he'd have called a quits to not only her training but their lovemaking as well.

He was oddly silent, but she pressed on.

"But I… I was wondering, when I get back… do you think we might be a bit more… exclusive?" She sounded as stilted as Hinata on a bad day.

Still, he said nothing.

"I mean, I'm not _married_ to the idea, but it might be nice to know where we stand." Why? Why in hell had she said _married_? She was as much of an idiot as she always claimed that he was.

After another few moments of awkward silence, he finally said, "We'll talk about it when you get back."

"Okay," she said in a small voice. Things were definitely _not_ going according to plan.

Kakashi reached down to pull the covers over them both and then shut off the bedside light like always, like nothing at all had happened. Like she hadn't just said she was leaving in the morning for almost a month and _hadn't_ just nearly spilled her guts about how she felt about him.

"Kakashi, I-," _love you. A lot. A whole lot. Please, don't be mad at me_. But she just couldn't bring herself to say it. What if he didn't feel the same? So instead, she finished lamely with a, "Good night."

"Good night, Sakura." And with that, he pulled her close once more and promptly fell asleep. But for Sakura, sleep was a long, long time coming.

***

Three and a half weeks later, Sakura and her team sauntered back into the Village smiling and laughing and joking merrily. It had been a _good_ mission.

Some missing-nin with delusions of grandeur had taken up residence in a little town on the outskirts of Fire. He had managed to recruit some lackeys and hoodlums and a few other low-ranked missing-nin before the town council had decided he was too much of a potential nuisance and had hired Konoha to deal with the problem.

It hadn't really been much of a problem at all, at least not for Sakura and her team. She let her boys take out the rabble while she went for their leader. He had begun spouting the standard 'evil villain' speech while he watched his comrades die around him. Apparently being faced down by a one-eyed, pink-haired little girl wasn't something he felt he had to be overly concerned with. He should have just run while he had the chance.

The moron had worn a cape – a heavily embroidered red velvet cape. She could just imagine what Kakashi would have said about that. It was the first thing she had picked off his dead body. The second was the obviously fine katana the dead man did _not_ know how to use properly. All it had taken was for Sakura to get close enough to the billowing cape as it whipped out behind him, give it a sharp tug toward her, and plant her ninjato straight through his heart. The ninjato might not have the range of a katana, but range really didn't matter when you were three inches away from your target.

What had really put her and her boys into such a good mood was not the ease of the mission it was that it had been so _lucrative._ Apparently Cape-Man had been stockpiling weapons and armor and other resources of a more easily liquidated variety. The ninja had gotten first pick of whatever they wanted – spoils of war and all that – and the rest had gone into the town's treasury. It might have been a slightly longer trip home, what with their weighed down packs, but it hadn't seemed to bother any of them.

And then, they had all had the joy of picking on Sakura's new fashion accessory to make the time fly by faster.

After completing the mission and collecting their reward, they had done what all good little ninja do when they have full pockets and can still breathe unaided. They went out drinking.

Sakura was showing off her new cape while walking in between bars – they were duty-bound to try out all of them for recon purposes only, of course – twirling and whirling so much that in her drunken state, she wobbled right into a signpost. Lucky for the signpost, it was for an ophthalmologist's office, and they were still open. Egged on by her teammates, Sakura had very nicely suggested to the proprietor that it would be in his best interest to craft her an eye patch from the cape she still wore tied about her neck. She would be back for it in the morning, she said sweetly, unfastening the cape and leaving it on the nervous man's front desk.

Her boys had not let her forget what she had done, and had all but forced her to wear the horrid thing. She had tipped the eye doctor heavily for her previous impertinence, and sighing mightily, tied the piece of cloth round her head. Truthfully, it didn't look half bad.

And that is how Haruno Sakura returned from her first mission since losing her eye whistling brightly, twirling a beautifully made katana about her wrist, and sporting a red velvet eye patch complete with embroidered black scrollwork. She was planning to give the sword to Kakashi as a sort of peace offering. Men seemed to like getting weapons as gifts. She hoped – prayed – that it would work.

Breaking apart from her boys at the gates, and sending a gallant bow in the direction of Izumo and Kotetsu, Sakura lost her smile and good cheer as she lost herself in thoughts of Kakashi. She knew it was childish to keep 'testing' him. Sure, at first it had seemed like a good idea. She would dress up as a character from _Icha Icha_, giving him what she hoped was an unsubtle clue as to her intentions. If he hadn't wanted her to jump him, he could have left, or said something – or just left, because if he had said something, she probably would have passed out from embarrassment. But he had stayed, and it had all worked out for the best, she had thought, until she realized that like and love were two completely different things.

Like was a warm, fuzzy feeling that you got in the pit of your stomach when you saw someone you'd like to have carnal relations with. Love… love sucked. Love meant giving Hatake Kakashi an infinite amount of power over her – specifically, the power to crush her into a million little pieces if he didn't feel the same. Sakura had never really known what being lonely felt like until she had been forced to be away from Kakashi for three weeks. A dull ache had built up in her chest at night, alone in her bedroll, unable to touch him, taste him, even to hear his obnoxious voice. She would have given almost anything in those times just to be able to catch a whiff of his aftershave. It was completely ridiculous, giving this much power to a man who was so careless with his things.

That's why she had gone away in the first place, requesting a mission that would take her at least a month to complete. She wanted to give him time to decide how he felt, give herself time to perhaps get over these stupid feelings she was having. They were dangerous. They made her feel weak, robbed her of sleep, and twisted her stomach in knots. But, she hadn't gotten over them, and the idea of Kakashi finding someone new in the time she had been away all but killed her.

If this was love, real love, it bit. Hard.

Trudging up the five flights of stairs to her flat, Sakura was fully prepared for a good, long sulk. She knew she had a couple pints of fudge brownie ice cream in the freezer that were just calling her name.

Dejectedly, she opened her door and froze.

"Where the fuck is all my stuff?!" she shrieked. Her flat was completely empty aside from a few dust bunnies and stray pieces of rubbish. No one in the Village would be stupid enough to steal from a shinobi. Nobody except for one man.

"Hatake Kakashi, you are so dead," she vowed as she took to the rooftops, heading straight for his apartment.

When she reached his place, she jimmied the lock on his bedroom window and stepped inside. It was still early – ten a.m. – and so she found Kakashi fast asleep, curled around a pillow in the center of his bed. Her anger nearly faded to nothing when she saw him, and a small smile tugged at the corners of her mouth. The man _was_ adorable, even if he was the most frustrating creature ever to grace the earth.

And then Sakura noticed it.

Her own wardrobe was snugged tight against his. In fact, as she moved further to investigate, most of her furniture seemed to have found its way into Kakashi's apartment. There was her couch where his had sat – hers was much newer – and her dining table and chairs… Those had been in storage. The bastard had even raided her storage locker? This must be serious.

She wondered if he had taken a page out of her book, _Unsubtle Ways to Tell Someone How You Feel Without Really Saying How You Feel_. She hoped against hope that he had. Because this was saying to her that he wanted her to stay, to be a part of his life, and maybe even that he could possibly… love her, too. Or, maybe he had just taken his revenge for being used an extra couple of weeks by claiming all of her stuff as his own. One never really knew with Kakashi.

She supposed she was going to have to break down and ask him now. As she stepped into the bedroom, she heard him mumble into his pillow, "Come back to bed, Sakura. It's cold."

She had forgotten to close the window. After rectifying her oversight, she quickly stripped down to nothing – nothing but her eye patch – and slid into the bed next to him.

Her hands running through the tangles of his hair coaxed him to wakefulness. "Sakura?" he asked blearily. "What…?" He blinked at her owlishly, and she caught glimpses of his Sharingan before he realized she was actually in the bed and remembered to shut it.

"What happened to all my stuff, Hatake?" she asked amicably, flinging a leg over his hip.

"Mm," was his only reply as he pillowed his face on what seemed to be his favorite spot in the whole world. Grinning ruefully, she continued to work her fingers through his matted hair.

"Kakashi, my stuff," she gently prodded.

"Brought it here. So you wouldn't leave again," he rumbled sleepily against her chest.

"Hmm. And why did you help me train?" If he was going to be honest and forthright when half-asleep, she would milk it for all it was worth.

"Cause it sucks not having an eye. Thought I told you that before," he groused, still slightly slurring his words.

"And that I asked nicely. Yeah, I remember. Were those the only reasons? If you just helped me for the good of the village or some stupid bullshit, I would rather not know. I kind of like pretending you helped me because _you_ wanted to," she admitted.

"And if you just seduced me in order to smother me in my sleep… Well, I really rather you wouldn't," he said as he rolled on top of her, now quite obviously fully awake.

She shrieked loudly as he assaulted her, his long-fingered hands that she loved so well tickling along her ribs and making her beg for mercy. Once he had let off and she had brought her breathing back under control, she snuggled into his arms, relaxed and happy. But, after a time, she felt a need to break the stillness.

"I'm not Rin."

"I know. You aren't dead."

"No, I mean I don't like dogs."

"Oh. Well, that might be a problem. I have eight of them." He rubbed his stubbly jaw along the side of her cheek, making her squirm and call out in protest. "Wait. Who told you about Rin?

"I'm nosy? And my best friend is Yamanaka Ino?" She raised a skeptical eyebrow, "Don't tell me that's news to you?"

"Ah," was all he said. She hoped he took it as the warning it was.

"Kakashi," there was one last thing she was curious about, "Why did you let me jump you in the practice room that day? I'm pretty sure you weren't fostering any hidden desires for me, no matter how much you stared at my butt."

"I'm a ninja. I'm opportunistic," he echoed her words. "When a beautiful girl dresses up as a character from your favorite porn in an evident attempt to get into your pants… Well…" He leered at her suggestively.

She supposed that answered that. Hatake Kakashi was thoroughly smitten with her.

***

The end

Extended A/N: This is the end. There is no more. You can imagine them going on to have quintuplets who all become Kages of the Five Hidden Villages, and that Kakashi steals Uchiha Madara's eyes and lives forever (but still looks hot) and that Sakura perfects Tsunade's age-defying jutsu and also lives forever and they live happily ever after and never die. Because I know that's what I'm going to do. Or, you can imagine that they continue to live together, have great and copious amounts of sex, and remain as happy as two trained killers can until one of their eventual deaths. I'm not going there, so you don't have to either.

But, thank you to everyone that has reviewed (or will review in the future). I was expecting massive amounts of flames for my first foray into fanfiction. You all made me a very happy bunny. (And a little bit of a crack-whore. I never used to check my e-mail until I started getting reviews.) I hope that at least some of you enjoyed my six chapter PWP. ;)

Ta, ta, and maybe I'll see you again sometime.


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